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L!
Thu Dec 30, 2004 at 05:40:41 pm EST
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A Chad & Ronnie Christahannaqwanza Spectacular Finale, Part 3: Guest Stars Galore!
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What has gone on before: Chad & Ronnie when out to find the Traditional Christahannaqwanza Sacred Holland Day's Bush, which they called Susan. They were at a Tree lot on their search for "Susan", which apparently is a Telephone pole. They were told they couldn't buy "Susan". So, Ronnie found an alternative, "Jerome". "Jerome" happens to be a wooden coat rack. Chad & Ronnie bought "Jerome" & went home. Back at their apartment, They decorated "Jerome" in the traditional fashion. After a small dance, their mail came. One piece of mail was an invitation to Sir Mumphrey Wilton's Home for Christmas. They were so happy until they found that the invite was not for them, It was for Dominic Clancy (AKA Mr. Epitome). So, Chad & Ronnie did the only thing they could do, return the invitation. But, they decided to return it to Sir Mumphrey in person. Which meant that Chad & Ronnie are going to England! So, Chad & Ronnie mailed themselves to England, using Buckingham Palace as their destination. After an altercation with the Palace Guards, The Duo decide to hide in a trunk of a car, which was a car owned by Sir Mumphrey Wilton, from the guards. After accidentally getting locked in, Chad & Ronnie make it Sir Mumphrey's House, Flapjack lets them & tells them were the party is. Before they go into the party, Ronnie takes Chad aside to go over that they are going to do (Give back the invite, get some free food & then leave.) We now join Chad & Ronnie as they enter the party.

-------------------

Chad & Ronnie open the doors to the party. Few turn around to see who came. Those that do don't know who they are.

"Dream, Did you invite some people I don't know about?" Meggan Foxxx asked her son, Dreamcatcher Foxglove, who is also know as the hero called CrazySugarFreakBoy!

"No. At least, I didn't think I did."

--------------------

Lee Bookman looks up from his book. He was sitting in a high back leather chair, it was near a roaring fire. Lee sees Chad & Ronnie. Like most everyone, he doesn't recognize them. He thought "You would think that a man who spends most of his days in the LL's file room would know pretty much know everyone at a LL party."

He pulls his IOL communicator out of his trench coat pocket. Flapjack tried to take his jacket from him, but Flapjack stopped after a few minutes of resistance. Lee opens the small device & presses a button, then the device dials a phone number. Lee raises the device to his ear, he hears it ringing. Then, a cheerful voice on the other end picks up.

"Thanks you for dialing the Moon Public Library, My Name is DD. How may I help you?"

"Hi." Lee said, almost monotonly.

"Oh, Hi, Lee. How's the party going?"

"Fine."

"Did something happen?"

"Depends. But, nothing bad has happened, yet. I need you to do something."

"Sure, What?"

"I'll be sending you some pic's of two men who just arrived at the party. I don't recognize them. I see that others don't either. I need to you to ID them."

"Sure."

Lee aims his communicator at Chad & Ronnie, it takes a few pictures of them. Then, Lee sends them to DD.

"Do you have them?" Lee asks.

"Yes. Once I have an answer, I'll call you back. Have fun!" DD says before hanging up.

"Sure, whatever."

--------------

At the Moon Public Library, A.L.F.RED asks DD a question "Who was that?"

"That was Lee. He wanted me to do something for him."

"Does he know about our problem?"

"No. I didn't tell him."

"Why Not?"

"Because I decided he should have a nice christmas not worrying about us or the Library."

"Stupid Holiday!" A.L.F.RED said before the massive plant he'd been fighting for the last hour bit down on his head.

"That's it. I'm going to live up to my model's rep & go psycho on this plant's ass!" A.L.F.RED thought.

----------

Back at the home of Sir Mumphrey, Chad & Ronnie continue their way through the party. Most of the people they see there, they have only seen on Tv, in pictures & in other media. They have never seen them in person (Except for Hatman, they saw him earlier that day at Buckingham Palace).

As they made it around, one thought kept come to them: They don't know what Sir Mumphrey looks like! They ruled many of the people out but that still left a good number of people.

----------------

"Ah, yes. Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy & his mostly mute companion have arrived." The Hooded Hood mused from his chair. He was sitting on one of the balconies above the party. He cracked a sly smile and then mused "So, they did get the invitation." Then took a sip of his wine.

---------------------

Chad & Ronnie continue to look from Sir Mumphrey. They think they have narrowed who he is to a few people. Then, that group is narrowed down when they see some of them carrying around trays of food.

"Would you like some Spotted Dick?" One asked Ronnie.

"What?"

"Would you like some Spotted Dick?" They asked again.

Then, Ronnie noticed that the man had a tray of food & that must be what he was referring to.

"Uh, no. But, could you direct me to Sir Mumphrey?"

"Yes." The waiter said. He looked around & saw him. "He is over there next to that nice young woman over there." He pointed to Sir Mumphrey, he was talking Asil.

"Thank you." Ronnie said.

"If you don't mind me asking which super hero are you?" The waiter asked, still trying to place who he is.

"Who don't know?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"You should be." Ronnie said & then walked off. As he walked off, he laughed to himself.
--------------------

During this interchange, Chad has wondered off as he offen does. He had found the buffet table, it was covered with all different types of food.

"Oh my god, Trudi! It's him! That means that his freaky little friend must be here, too." Jenni Wooster whispered to her sister. They had also found the Buffet Table.

"How did they get invited?" Trudi wondered.

Then, the Wooster Sisters slowly walked away from the Buffet Table. They were both hoping to not get noticed (but only by him). The Sisters then spy Hatman across the room & head towards him.

---------------

With Invite in hand, Ronnie walks up the Knight with a lot of three & four letter abbreviations after his name. He only knows what some of them mean. As he gets closer, the more nervous he gets. Now, Ronnie's eyes are large & trained on Mumphrey as he walks forward. It's at a slow pace but he's getting there. Ronnie also starts to breath heavily.

"Ah, Mumph." Asil asks

"Yes, m'dear."

"There is a man dressed like Ronald McDonald on crack & he is heading this way."

Mumph looks around & then sees him. Ronnie raises his arm with invite in hand.

"What should we do?" Asil asked.

"Let's find out what that queer-looking johnnie's after, what, and then I'll see if I need to sling him out on his ear."

Ronnie gets closer, Asil & Mumph don't move. They are now starring at each other.

Ronnie is now two to three feet from the two of them, he mumbles "Here", tosses the invite at Mumph & runs off.

"That was odd." Asil said.

Mumph leaned over to pick up what was thrown at him. He sees that it is one of his invites, the one he sent to Mr. Epitome. But, it was addressed in his real name. He didn't remember having one made out like this.

"Dashed odd. Queer as a French sailor."

-----------------------

Ronnie was now running around looking for Chad & then he wants to get the heck out of there. He found Chad playing his Accordion for the Caphans. They were dancing as he played, Flapjack was filming them with his new camcorder, a Christmas present from his Uncle.

"Chad. We need to leave NOW!" Ronnie told Chad.

He stopped playing, the Caphans stopped dancing, Flapjack stopped filming & was sad.

Chad & Ronnie then ran off. Ronnie threw open the doors to the hallway. They ran down the hallway, Ronnie found his jellybeans spread all over the floor. He grabbed his jacket & Chad grabbed his. Then, they ran out into the snow. As they ran the hill from the house to the main road, They pass a group of carolers going up the hill. Chad & Ronnie wave to them, some wave back.

---------------

Time passes, Lee is still reading his book. Then, his communicator goes off. Lee answers.

"Hello."

"Hi, Lee. I have some info on your mystery men." DD said as A.L.F.RED cleaned up the aftermath of his fight.

"Ok. What is it?"

"According to our records, those two go by the names of Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy & Chadwick L. Swiss. Our records don't show what the L stands for?" DD said. "Maybe it's Librarian?" she joked.

"Anything else?" Lee asked, not finding the joke funny.

"Their addresses, they both live on Parrodipolis. Most records on them start about the mid 80's. They don't pay taxes, they don't have jobs, It looks like they have never had jobs. Let's what else?"

DD said some more details about Chad & Ronnie. Most of the info was vague at best.

"The oddest info i found was that they had a couple of songs written about them, it was by the band Inflatable Monkey, the songs title are accordion laden ballad "Chad & Ronnie" & the dance song "Don't try the Jelly Beans". They are both from the Inflatable Monkey album titled "It's all Sunshine & Puppies."

Lee, not listening, asked no one. "So, what would they be doing here?"

"Not sure."

"Why are our records on them so sketchy?"

"I don't know. I was finding that odd, too."

"We should have complete records, dam it! Were the fricking IOL!" Lee almost yelled into the communicator.

"Ok, Utah." DD said sarcastically.

"Don't you ever say that name to me, ever again!" Lee said, angrily.

"Ok." DD said, then changed the subject "Do you want me to search some more on them. I still have a couple more Earth databases that I could check?"

"No, it's ok. I just don't like that two anomalies could walk right into a party with the earth's mightiest heroes without anyone knowing who they are." Lee said, then sighed.

"See you later!" DD said

"Sure."

They both hang up.

--------------

EPILOGUE:

Dullard's Corner, local time is 4 am.

The ringing of the phone wakes Jane Tarzania out of restful sleep. She finds the phone & picks up. Her eyes still closed & says "Hello?" She think it will be her boss, they are always calling at all hours of the day.

"Jane?" said the voice on the other end.

"Ronnie?" Jane says, she sits up in bed & opens her eyes. Looks over at his clock radio. "It's 4 in the morning."

"No, it's not. It's 9 am, silly."

There was a moment of silence. Then, Ronnie said "COOL!"

"What, Ronnie?" Jane said, as she rolled her eyes.

"So, this means I'm making a time traveling phone call. It just like in that movie. Hey, Chad!"

Jane can hear a muffled answer.

"Jane is in the past & I'm calling her from the present!"

Another muffled answer.

"Jane?"

"Yes, Ronnie?"

"Why I called is to ask you a question."

"Yes, Little Cat is ok. I finally got him to eat some really food."

"That's good, but that isn't my question."

"What is it?" Jane asked, wanting to go back to sleep. She has work in 5 hours.

"Could you pick us up?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Cool!"

"Where are you?"

"In a phone booth." Ronnie answered.

Jane sighed & asked "Where is this phone booth?"

"England."

Jane dropped the phone. She thought once she stopped dating Ronnie, she wouldn't have to put up with stuff like this. But, recently she decided to be the nice ex-girlfriend & take care of his hamster while he was away. Jane now realizes that that was a stupid idea. She tried to get out but he keep pulling her back in.

Ronnie tried to get Jane back on the line, but it was no use. She picked up the receiver, said goodbye & hung up. They would just have to find there own way home. She then settled back down & fell back asleep.

--------------------

THE END!

When & where Chad & Ronnie will show up next is mystery, much like themselves.

---------------


I heard the FOOTNOTES on Christahannaqwanza Day:

This story takes place during Untold Tales 200. I'd like to thank Ian for his help with Mumph's lines. This is also the first Chad & Ronnie story to have an epilogue & it's the Chad & Ronnie with the most of Guest Stars (It's bet the old record of 1 guest star, that was Joey Z.)

Chad & Ronnie met the Wooster Sisters in CRISIS 4. The four of them got stuck in an elevator at Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital. Given the sister's reaction, their experience was not a good one. (In CRISIS 4, you only see them getting stuck, but not for how long.)

In an untold experience, Chad & Ronnie have met The Hooded Hood, what Mr. Winkelweald has planned for this pair, if anything, is unknown.

The "Utah" DD refers to is Utah, the new Observer. He has recently came to the moon, so that means that the Turquoise area of the Moon is now being used again. I think Utah & Lee's first meeting is in CRISIS 1.

As mentioned in Untold Tales 189 "Trial of Lee Bookman": IOL issue Artificial Life Form, Model RED have a programing flaw, they had a "tendency to go insane and massacre everybody". A.L.F.RED knows this & uses that to his advantage.

"Little Cat" is Ronnie's Hamster, who Ronnie left him with his Ex-Girlfriend, Jane Tarzania. Who you can see now regrets involving herself again with Ronnie. She is a Secretary business in Parrodipolis.

The band "Inflatable Monkey" is the world's most famous & rockingness band ever! As revealed here Chad & Ronnie must have met them sometime. That might explain why Chad is always seen wearing one of their shirts, His comes from IM's "Cat out of Brooklyn" '98 tour. That might have been when they met. The Album which the songs about Chad & Ronnie come from did come out in '99.


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